So the key question is…what can I do to own and honour the value I bring?

First of all be very clear on what rate you are charging. Define your ideal rate and then what the lowest discounted rate that you could live with is. Never, ever, ever go below this rate! Don’t be talked into it. Stand firm and remember the value you bring. If the potential client doesn’t get it, try to educate them, if they still try to negotiate you lower, run the other way.

I know, I know how can you possibly do this when you have bills to pay and a family to feed? The answer is to trust in yourself, believe in your abilities, honour the value you bring and you will automatically attract those clients to you. When one door closes another door opens. When working with less than ideal clients you do not have the space to open the door for your ideal client to come in.

Come from a place of abundance versus scarcity, from a place of choice rather than need. Keep in mind that the VA profession is still very much in it’s infancy therefore potential clients are almost limitless. Always remember that you are a business owner not an employee and as such have a choice in who you work with and financial compensation. Get out of the employee mindset.

Have confidence in yourself and your abilities. Debrief and analyze all that you do in order to grow and make changes. The right clients will pick up on this and be willing to pay for the right person.

Use the amazingly support community of VA’s!  Many have gone before you and will guide, support and celebrate with you, especially when you have to make some of those tough decisions. Work with a coach or mentor. Having someone in your corner to remind you of who you are and what you bring can be priceless!

Author: Mary-Lou Ashton, www.vatp.ca

Last thing I remember it was the last day of school, now in a week it will be first day of school.   That just flew right by.

Of course, being a mother of a teenager, back to school rituals such as “back to school shopping”  has seem to become an event all to itself in this household.  The reason why everything else has taken a bit of a backseat this week.  

Back to school shopping sure has changed since I was in high school.  When I went back to school shopping I was given $50.00 (and any other money I had saved from summer jobs) to buy my clothes, new shoes, school supplies and anything else I could possibly get for the money I had.  Mind you, I could actually get most of what needed with that money.  That was a time when you could buy 5 shirts for $10.00.  (I’m not trying to date myself here at all, but I was an 80’s chick, and as long as I had money for the essential leg warmers and school supplies, then everything else was icing on the cake).

Now, to my teenager, back to school shopping has become almost like an end of summer social event. It’s an event that needs to be planned down to the tiniest of details.  It’s not just a quick trip to the mall.  No, no, not in this household.  Everything has to be decided from who is going to be “invited” (yes, back to school shopping now entails that you bring your 5 closest friends, and 1 girlfriend along with you) to what you are going to wear to when the “festivities” will begin. 

And of course, at this age, mother’s only provide the funding (which by the way has quadrupled since I was in high school) and the transportation; we don’t actually get to participate in the “back to school” festivities at all.    

So, I wait for the call letting me know that they are done and ready to be picked up.  

And then this is the part that always brings it home for me…unpacking the back to school shopping bags. 

When my son get’s home he begins showing me the back to school purchases.  He begins pulling out the 4 shirts, 3 pair of jeans, the cool looking running shoes and the back pack. And I’m waiting, and waiting…okay –so that’s it? Where’s the rest of it?  I immediately start looking around for the other bags.

Let me put some perspective into this…he left with $500.00 and came back with 4 shirts, 3 pair of jeans, one pair of running shoes and a backpack!  What are you kidding me?   So I guess things like pens, pencils, and binders aren’t really necessary for school these days.

No, because apparently, you can reuse your binders from last year, you know the ones where the rings don’t actually close anymore and the vinyl siding is falling off.    That’s fine, but wearing the same shoes that are in perfect condition from last year —HUGE no, no!

 Ah, what fun…can’t wait to do this again next year….NOT!!

My mother who is your typical grandmother has stacks and stacks of pictures from the time we were born through to the time my children were born.    It’s quite interesting going through the pictures and revisiting older memories, times that seem almost a life time ago.    

It made me start to realize that, other than the memories I hold in my mind, these photos are all that are really left of those times.  And trust me, the way my memory has been “holding” things lately, I can’t count on it for much longer…LOL! 

It really dawned on me as I was looking through the stack of photos, how much has taken place over the 37 years that I’ve been on this little round planet.    Really it’s quite amazing! 

Seriously, do it now….sit back and think about all the things you have done, seen, been a part of… it’s pretty friggin’ impressive isn’t it?  

Although, I may tease my mother about the 100 or so pictures of my son as a newborn, in exactly the same position…the same picture…over, and over, and over again, she actually has the right idea.

You see, she’s a memory keeper, and whether she knows this or not, somewhere along the line subconsciously she was given the task of recording our family memories, documenting all of those important “firsts.”   She has given us all the precious gift of remembering.  Giving us a medium to use when our memory fails to retain it all!

So, I decided the time had come, to start my own path as memory keeper…hence the purchase of this nifty little camera.   I’m making a commitment to ensure that my children and eventually my grandchildren, will have the stacks and stacks of photos to go through…and yes tease me about the 100 or so pictures of my newborn grandkid in exactly the same position, over and over and over again…LOL!

Memory keeper what a great responsibility —how about you…up for the task?

I know, I know, flying is the safest way to travel.  More people die in car crashes than in planes…I’ve heard it all before.  So why do I still have this fear of flying?    Well even if there are only 1 in 10 million people that die from a plane crash -that 1 could be me, and the thought of leaving this earth that way…well just freaks me out! 

The past few plane trips I’ve taken have been less than ideal, in fact the last one when I was heading home from Montreal in November, I thought I was a goner for sure.  The turbulence was unbelievable and I almost ended up in the lap of the guy sitting next to me.  Poor guy!   I swore then I would never get on another plane again…but here I am, getting ready to do it all over again.

And why is it that whenever you are scheduled to fly, there always seems to be a plane crash, or a malfunction or something related to a plane all over the news.  It never fails a week or so before I’m scheduled to get onto one of those things, something seems to make the news or maybe I’m just more aware of it.

I’ve been reading alot about fear of flying lately,  I wanted to really get to the bottom of why I have these fears, and why I can’t seem to fly without medicating myself. Those happy pills sure do make it easier, but it doesn’t totally eliminate the sheer terror I sometimes feel.   They just kind of subdue the reaction. For instance instead of screaming “We’re going down!” when we hit some turbulence, I’m just white knuckling it on the seat arms with a look of terror on my face.   So the pills prevent me from running down the aisles looking for my parachute or life raft, but not enough to take away the intense fear that I still feel.

So as I mentioned I’ve been doing some research on fear of flying and have come to realize that my fear is really about control.  I have absolutely no control over the flight.   I am literally putting my life in someone’s’ hands -even worse someone who I’ve never met.   I have to trust that this person knows what they are doing and will get me from point A to point B in a metal shell with wings without it falling from the sky.   And that’s really what it’s about for me.   The fact is I know nothing about what is going on.  And it’s this lack of control and the feeling of unknown that is really at the center of my fear. 

How can I fix this?  Well, I’m not sure it can be fixed at least before I get on the plane tomorrow.  But it was a good first step in realizing where this fear is originating, and now that I know this, I can try to come up with strategies to deal with this.  I mean obviously I’m not going to have the opportunity to go to dinner and get to know each of my pilots, but maybe if I can learn to trust in the unknown a little bit more. 

The bottom line is, I haven’t had any real reason NOT to trust either.  Hmmm…well there’s a thought that I will take with me on the plane tomorrow!

I’ve met some great individuals, found some awesome resources, yet I’m still trying to find my place in it all. Ever found yourself in a crowded room, not sure whether to come out, or simply sip your drink in the corner and hope that someone talks to you?  Sometimes that’s what I feel like when using Twitter. 

I know, I know, I should just jump in and find my place…and normally I would, but there’s just something about this medium that I still find so unfamiliar and just doesn’t quite feel right to me.  I really can’t explain it. 

I guess this is where the hate aspect comes in.  I find myself getting completely distracted by it all. I downloaded Tweet Deck, only to have to uninstall it because the updates were killing me. I just HAD to look at those notifications every time that little beep sound went off.  So I figured if I had to make more of an effort to login to the website that might curb the distraction and yes it did, now I’m not falling over myself trying to see if someone tweeted me (is that what you call it?) or sent me a direct message.  But I still login a few times a day to see what other’s are up to then sit there and debate about what cool tidbit I have to offer.  Which never seems to be that cool to me…I mean do I have anything that would be worthwhile other than “working on this” or “working on that” because that’s all I seem to be doing these days and does anyone really care? 

I mean …oh…hold on one sec…just have to login to twitter………….okay back, what was I saying again?  Oh yes, I mean I truly have nothing spectacular to share it seems?  Or maybe I think I don’t have anything spectacular to share?   Sometimes I just feel like a lurker, peering into the daily lives of others and longing to share something of interest because they shared something with me and for the life of me not being able to find anything remotely interesting. 

Does this make any sense at all? …….oh goody another follower, that’s awesome, let me check out their profile….cool, click on follow. Yep alrighty then….damn I lost it again didn’t I?   See total twitter overload here. 

Now you see what I’m dealing with here…love twitter, hate what it does to me though.  So I’m looking to you my readers, to help me with my twitter head.  How on earth do you deal with it all?  What am I doing wron…..hmmm @whatswithinu just posted to her blog….oh ya, gotta check that out. 

Help!  

@mjva