I’m back from a wonderful, relaxing vacation and I’m sure no surprise to any of you I’m in the notorious “email hell”.   One week’s vacation equates to over 1000 emails, can you believe that?  Mind you most of it can be handled by the quick hit of the delete button and trust me that delete button is working overtime.  

It’s normally a two day job, catching up and responding to those that need responding to.  As I’m going through it, I have to ask myself is it really like this every week?  When you are checking email on a regular daily basis, you don’t realize how much of this stuff (crap) you go through, but when you go away for a week, it’s like an avalanche coming crashing at you.  Okay maybe I’m being a bit of a drama queen here, but it’s pretty crazy when you think about it.  The thing that really gets me the most is the spam, the crap email this is just an unbelievably huge waste of my time.

So answer this question:  What did people do when there was no email?  I really don’t remember coming back home from vacation to a 10 foot pile of 1000 envelopes (which I would have had to climb over to get to the front door).  And, I’m also pretty sure that none of my mail consisted of a 100 or so ads about “increasing the size of my….”  (for one thing, I don’t have one of those, and  two, I’m pretty sure if I did have one, there isn’t a cream or potion around that would actually work…I mean who are we kidding here).   

 Sure I had some mail when I returned home, a dozen or so envelopes , a couple of advertisements for new windows, oh ya and a new pizza place opened up in town, but nothing quite as “newsworthy” as when I downloaded my email:

1)      Apparently I can lose 10lbs in two days by taking some magic pill –woo hoo, how come that one wasn’t on Oprah?

2)       I had a distant relative in some far away land who happened to die (my condolences) and leave me all his money, providing I email back my bank account number to collect it.  – geez I didn’t even get a chance to get to know him…better get on this one right away –NOT!

3)      It looks like some girl named Crystal has a crush on me and wants me to head over to her website so she can get to “know” me better…well isn’t that sweet, I’m sure we’d make a great couple!  LOL!  Sorry honey, but I’m taken.

4)      I can get my PhD in just two months!  Wow, I’m sure all those people who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and years and years in school are thrilled to hear that.   – come on, get real.

5)      It seems there is a problem with my Bank of Montreal bank account and I have to verify the account number online.  Hmmm…could be a bit of a problem, considering I bank at the TD.  

LOL!!  Okay so these are not the first time I’ve come across these emails, these are not new to me, but when you go on vacation, and come home, and actually realize how much of these dumb, ridiculous emails we receive on a weekly basis it is absolutely mind blowing. 

Sure, I get it; it’s the price I pay for the convenience of having instantaneous communications.   I take the good with the bad.  But what happens when the bad starts winning?  What then? 

Hmmm….maybe I should ask Crystal that question, she seems like a smart girl, I mean after all, she must be, she knows what a great “catch” I am.  LOL!

Glad to be back!